Forgive my weakness and forgive my sins

I now understand why Barboach and Qwilfish are so rarely seen on the network.

[Cecil's fishing profile takes up the whole screen today, thanks to a particularly enthusiastic cameramon. He doesn't bother to look at it, the still water holding every bit of his attention. But as he finishes his sentence, the video starts to shake slightly...]

I've spent the last five days looking for them, without results. I expected as such from Qwilfish, as I've been told they are rare on this route, but Barboach is supposedly a common species. Perhaps I should- Rosie, what's wrong? Why are you-

[The shaking only grows as Cecil is interrupted and thrown into the water by a double flying tackle. A double flying tackle coming from a Barboach and a Qwilfish. A Barboach and a Qwilfish that take the time to wink at the camera as they fly by.

Rosie is shaking so hard from laughter by that point that it takes her two tries to turn the Pokégear off. Such a terrible child.]

[Today, Cecil's Pokégear offers a lovely closeup of a staring Hydreigon. Complete with regular menacing growls and extremely rare blinking.

For two straight hours.

How did Dora get it working with two heads for hands? Who knows! Enjoy the staring contest~]

[Ladies and gentlemen, you are now getting visual proof that clothes spread between a big rock and a tree do not make a very good shelter. You are also getting proof that route 8's Meowth population is not picky, because they've apparently all found themselves there.]

...I am forced to admit that I'll not be able to travel any further. Considering I managed to withstand that blizzard a year and a half ago, this is rather frustrating.

[He does look frustrated. He also looks drenched, unkempt, tired and covered in cats. He points at a few of them.]

These all came looking for shelter, but they seem upset still. Could any cat-lover offer advice on how to calm them down?

[He'd rather not be accidentally clawed to death, if at all possible.]

[Some distance away, to the left of the (somewhat static-y) screen, a days-old Elgyem stands, panting and looking quite determined. To the right is a small plate, filled with tasty-looking berries. And between the two... a chair. A somewhat heavy-looking chair.

Now, a normal Pokémon would simply walk around the chair to reach the goodies, but Fu is obviously not a normal Pokémon. He's a paragon of strength and power! He's the standard by which all Pokémon should be measured! Which is why he bravely starts running and slams into the chair, in an attempt to move it out of the way.

It's quite obviously not working.]

Is that -ouch- truly normal behavior for -ow, dammit- Psychic-types?

[Poor Cecil (who will be staying offscreen, thank you) sounds completely baffled, and Fu apparently doesn't appreciate that. He turns around to look at his trainer, frowns, and literally launches himself at the protesting man. It would have been more impressive had it not been followed by a crack, a shout of surprise and a bout of wailing worthy of Whitney.]

...Does anyone know how to rid -ow- oneself of leftover static electricity? It makes dealing with him more -erk- complicated than it should be.

[All Cecil had wanted was to check on the trenches one last time before going to bed. Surely that could not hurt? Thus, a few minutes before midnight, he'd gone down to the beach. But the moment he set foot on the sand, he found himself blinded by a flash of light. A flash of light that gave way to a very different beach, all of his belongings in a pile, and a purple Pokémon he found somewhat familiar.

...Well.]

If anyone in the vicinity has any alcohol to offer, I can trade homemade sandwiches for it.