Forgive my weakness and forgive my sins

[Every day, many wasteful acts are committed across the world: nearly empty shampoo bottles are thrown away, ice cream bowls are not carefully scraped clean with a spoon, quality cold cuts are not placed between slices of freshly-baked bread, regained magic is not cast...

Cecil Harvey is not a wasteful person.

In fact, he's such an unwasteful person that he spends a large part of the weekend teleporting up to random confused souls, offering them ice cream and sandwiches aplenty, and teleporting away.

All of that with hair that looks like it came out of a shampoo commercial, of course.]

Everyone, look at the wonderful meal my team prepared for me! Is it not by far the tastiest-looking meal you've ever seen?

[Wow, Cecil sure sounds enthusiastic about his meal today. Overly enthusiastic, even, to the point that most of it seems faked. Just like a father loudly praising his child's particularly ugly macaroni artwork to the skies when witnesses are present.

Which is a surprisingly appropriate comparison, as the "meal" he now shows to the world only looks the part when compared to tar-coated cement. The chicken seems raw, the barbecue sauce has fuzzy grey and green bits, the pasta could be recognized as overcooked twenty paces away, the potatoes would easily replace the aforementioned cement...]

Why, it looks so wonderful, I cannot bear to ruin it with a bite! Perhaps I should freeze it, and keep it intact on a shelf as a testament to their talent-

[Multiples annoyed grumblings can heard, and a blue tentacle moves into the frame, holding a fork and waving it angrily. No, trainer, we prepared this so you could show the world our boundless talent and enjoy our efforts. You've done the first, now do the second. Or else.]

...If you all insist.

[The Pokégear is set down on the table and promptly picked up by one of the Pokémon present, allowing Cecil to appear on the screen, fork in hand. He hesitates for a few seconds, picks a piece of chicken up, brings it to his mouth, takes a wary bite...

His eyes quickly widen, and the Gear is promptly turned off just as a Lilligant calls out in alarm.]

[Today's backdrop is the Goldenrod Pokémon Center's kitchen. The cameramon would be Noelle the Blissey, considering the soft Bliss, bliss that can be heard. And the foreground?

An omelet. One large enough to feed a whole castle, with cheese and mushrooms and sausage bits. You could practically smell it through the screen.]

It'll not cook faster if you make a video of it, you know.

[The cook arrives, looking tired but much better than he did last time he posted. And this time he apparently doesn't mind the feed.]

How many people here come from worlds with inhabited moons? From what I've heard, we are in the minority.

[He pauses to study the color of the meal.]

If anyone is hungry, come to the Pokémon Center. We have more than enough to share.

[Free food! Who could ask for more?]

[So. Cecil woke up thanks to a strange flash of light, only to find an unknown Pokémon in his room.  How did he react? Why, by inviting it to a picnic and making as many sandwiches as he could, of course!

Well, actually he blinked, froze, stared, almost shouted, decided against it, reached for his sword, remembered he didn't have his sword, cursed his lack of a sword, realized the monster was still there, stared some more, asked if said monster was hoping to eat him, felt quite relieved when it shook its head, stood up, looked outside, saw all the strange people and Pokémon in the street, decided he was hallucinating, woke his Pokémon up, got dressed, smiled, and finally decided to invite the amused Pokémon to a picnic. But who cares about the details?]

And here we were, wondering what would happen this month. At least the colors are not eye-searing, this time. Would you like another ham and lettuce sandwich, Miss Cresselia?