paladinlost | 30th moon [video]

[Today's view of Ecruteak's Pokémon Center appears perfectly normal: the usual music is playing, the receptionist's desk is clean, and Cecil is smiling, with his hands clasped together and his right eyebrow twitching and- erm.]

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is a Public Service Announcement.

[A strange squelching noise can be heard from behind him, apparently moving. He ignores it.]

A Tentacruel answering to 'Lester' was found in the Ecruteak City Pokémon Center's women's bathroom this morning, unharmed and bearing a copy of '649 Ways to Bond With Your Tentacruel', along with two pairs of female undergarments. If you have any information about Lester's owner, please contact the Ecruteak City Pokémon Center promptly. Your cooperation would be greatly appreciated.

[A tentacle slowly slides up his left arm, finally resting on his shoulder. He ignores it.]

In addition, the Ecruteak City Pokémon Center would like to apologize for the disturbance, and assures all of its clients that such incidents will not take place again in the future. Thank you for your time.

[Cecil's smile looks particularly frozen as he turns the feed off.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The Malboros in my world had tentacles, and they were far from perverted. ...Then again, they were sick in a thousand other ways.

See? Told ya.

Perhaps I should not expect too much from Olivine's beach, then. It has plenty of Tentacools.

Ugh. Normal jellyfish are bad enough. Remind me never to visit Olivine's beach.

I think that beach might be the only path to Cianwood, actually.

You're talking waaaay too far ahead. I still haven't left Violet.

You're lucky enough not to have to deal with Lester's brethren for some time, then. I've not seen any between Cherrygrove and Ecruteak.

That's all right, I guess.

A few of the Grass-types have vines, but they have few of them and they tend to be less...

[He gestures toward the Tentacruel, currently waving at a few nurses.]

[... she makes a face]

None of my grass types are that fuckin' disgusting.

Neither is mine, thank goodness. She'd spend the rest of her life in storage otherwise.

Tch. Same here.

Mine are just annoyingly happy and nosy all of the damn time.

They must care for you very much, then.

I'd like it more if they weren't so fucking annoying.

I truly doubt they can be that bad. Overly affectionate at worst, perhaps?

Fucking. Annoying.

Do they play pranks or always squabble, then?

No pranks, but they're always fightin'.

have you tried team building exercises? They worked for mine, when they were arguing.

Team building exercises? Seriously?

If they could convince Rosie and Avenger to work together, they can convince any Pokémon.

Tch, yeah right. I'm not dealing with that kind of sappy shit.

You might be able to figure out your own technique for it, with enough time.

Paaaaaass.

Or they might decide to get along, but that's unlikely.