paladinlost | 30th moon [video]

[Today's view of Ecruteak's Pokémon Center appears perfectly normal: the usual music is playing, the receptionist's desk is clean, and Cecil is smiling, with his hands clasped together and his right eyebrow twitching and- erm.]

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is a Public Service Announcement.

[A strange squelching noise can be heard from behind him, apparently moving. He ignores it.]

A Tentacruel answering to 'Lester' was found in the Ecruteak City Pokémon Center's women's bathroom this morning, unharmed and bearing a copy of '649 Ways to Bond With Your Tentacruel', along with two pairs of female undergarments. If you have any information about Lester's owner, please contact the Ecruteak City Pokémon Center promptly. Your cooperation would be greatly appreciated.

[A tentacle slowly slides up his left arm, finally resting on his shoulder. He ignores it.]

In addition, the Ecruteak City Pokémon Center would like to apologize for the disturbance, and assures all of its clients that such incidents will not take place again in the future. Thank you for your time.

[Cecil's smile looks particularly frozen as he turns the feed off.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[... oh god. what]

...Do you happen to be the proud owner of a Tentacruel?

... er.

No.

Do you happen to know the proud owner of a Tentacruel, then?

Sorry, but... no.

A recipe involving Tentacruel flesh, perhaps?

No, but I might have a spare pokeball.

I'll try to find his own, first.

Good luck.

... it kinda sounds like you might need it.

...I think I might need a drink, instead.

You could just knock him out. That'd solve all of your problems.

We already did. Twice. But a few of the nurses took pity on him.

You couldn't tell them that he was knocked out for the good of Johto?

I tried. They did not listen. ...You know, they were the ones who recognized the book in the first place...

. . .

I dunno if that's a good or bad thing.

I do not know, and I do not want to know. I refuse to ask.

Good idea!

One has to keep one's mind clean and sane, after all.

Especially when things like this are involved.

This is even worse than Edge's Ninja Sutras, including the parts with the Malboros.

. . .

[just. face in palm]

...If you'd found a book behind a throne, you'd want to take a look, too.