paladinlost | 106th moon [audio]

To be in accordance with this world's natural laws, a whole half of my heredity should have been removed from my body. The half I inherited from my Lunarian father, to be exact. As there are only two half-Lunarians in the world, I cannot know exactly how it sets me apart from pure humans, but there is no doubt that there must have been something for this land to take away from me.

[Cecil doesn't know why he feels the need to talk about this now. His words come hesitantly, like he doesn't quite know if he wants to keep going.]

...Yet I feel no different, barring the usual loss of magic that even full humans go through. I look the same. I act the same. My skin still does not tan, no matter how much time I spend on the beach. The manner in which I age remains constant even after five years spent in this world. It's as if the absence — or presence, for that matter — of my Lunarian blood is completely meaningless, as far as my life is concerned.

[He stops for a moment, and then here it comes. The true, uncertain confession.]

I... don't know what to think of that. At all.

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This world is strange like that.

I experienced something similar, though the changes I expected that didn't come were less physical. It was as though what I was before didn't make any difference.

Though it should have.

Perhaps it truly does make no difference, no matter different from pure humans we supposedly are. Or maybe it does, but not in a manner that we can qualify or quantify.

[A sigh.]

Then again, we might have been expecting too much. I was unable to tell that I had Lunarian heritage for twenty years, after all.

I've never come to any answer. I always knew I was something different than human. Not quite what, for many years, but everything I was told then was a pack of lies anyway.

Who knows what we should have expected.

Why would anyone bother to lie about such matters? I cannot imagine how your knowledge of your own nature would be someone else's business.

It's a long and complicated story. The short version is simply that what I was happened to be useful to a vain and power hungry individual with the power to back their ambitions. If someone believes they exist simply to be a servant, they have no reason to question that.

Or seek their own freedom, if it's forever promised.

But you know better now, I hope?

[He hopes very hard.]

Please tell me that the vain and power-hungry individual in now in no position to ever manipulate someone's mind again.

I'm well aware of the truth.

I've no idea what happened to her, honestly.

As long as she's not here, I suppose that matters little at the moment. Not that she could do much to you, if she arrived with only a starter Pokémon and without her usual power.

She would stand no chance here. Too many of us whom she's badly used and cast aside are gathered.

She took everything from me. The whole human part.

Physically, or emotionally? Not that either option would reduce the gravity of her crime. Such an act is unforgivable, no matter its specifics or justification.

There's no simple answer to that question.

...I suppose not, when it involves something as personal and intangible as identity.

Suffice to say, I lost all of it. My human biology, my memories of my human life, my history, my culture...

[Cecil gasps softly. That goes even further than he imagined.]

...I'm sorry. That must have been a terrible experience, one that no one should ever go through.

I barely even remember it. And yet I feel the losses, all the same.

Thank you.

Is there any possibility for you to regain any part of it?

It's unlikely. Whatever life I have left is here. The culture I came from doesn't even exist anymore anyway.

...This world truly can be a blessing, by offering a new life to those who need it the most. But it's a shame there are no other options.

I'm thankful for this place, the life I have here. It's more than I ever thought I'd have.

And as long as you stay here, you have the opportunity to earn even more, to discover even more. That must be a nice thought, too.

106th moon [audio]

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