paladinlost | 101st moon [video]

Ladies, gentlemen and Pokémon, this is a Public Service Announcement.

[The video shows a group of extremely nervous Pokémon. That is probably for the best, as Cecil sounds coldly furious and the sight of his face would surely not be pretty.]

As many of you know, weather moves are both learned naturally by multiple species and available as TMs at either Department Store. They have the power to set up dozens of interesting battle strategies, or to facilitate or impair travel in a pinch.

They also have the power to kill innocent plants.

[The Pokégear abruptly turns towards a vegetable garden. ...Or at least, it must have been a vegetable garden once. Right now, it's a crispy, soggy, sandy, frozen mess of murdered tomatoes and destroyed cucumbers.]

Please teach your Pokémon and teammates that certain moves should not be practiced in urban environments. Please repeat that rule to them every day, even when they should already know it. Otherwise, you might have to deal with ruined landscaping, wasted gardening hours, and over twenty Pokémon who will be grounded for the rest of their natural lives.

[Anyone still listening can practically hear said Pokémon whimper; Cecil certainly sounds angry enough to warrant it.

...But suddenly, all that fury disappears, leaving behind a paladin who sounds almost normal. Almost.]

That was our Public Service Announcement for the day. Do be careful while training, everyone, and remember that even the weakest attack can cause extensive damage to your surroundings.

[His team won't forget that in a hurry.]

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Ahh, I guess if any of them can do it, it'd be the grass types, yeah... I know pretty much nothing about plants, otherwise I'd try to help.

Even mere sympathy is helpful, thank you. ...Or at least, it makes me feel better.

Sympathy I can do. Considering how often I regret teaching mine Thunderbolt...

[no you don't Ryner admit it you cast Izuchi vicariously through them]

Have they caused major property damage yet?

Nothing that couldn't be fixed eventually...

That's the best we can hope for, all too often. Did they help with the fixing?

With what she could, after some bribing. Only so much she can help with at her size, though.

Every little bit helps, but it's a shame bribery had to be used.

[to be fair it was more "if you help then you can pick out an extra stick of dango this week, but if you don't we're not going for our weekly dango trip", so a little more than mere bribery...]

Sometimes, that's the only way to get any of them to listen.

Oh, I've no doubt that taking away certain privileges will also be effective, after a few days.

Probably. I'm just not good at that, myself.

Plus they'd just pester Sion instead if I didn't give them what they want, and he'd probably give it to them to be a pain...

[okay that last part isn't 100% certain but knowing Sion...]

There's nothing worse than being undermined, when grounding a child or a Pokémon. In a single moment, months' worth of work can be destroyed.

I know, right? And yet all it takes is one pain-in-the-ass best friend of yours to ruin it all.

I'm lucky in that aspect. My best friend is a stricter disciplinarian than I am; if he was here, he'd never ruin my efforts.

Sounds like a good guy.

He's an excellent friend, though he tends to disappear for long periods of time without sending word of his safety. But everyone has their faults.

Well, if he tends to come back eventually, sounds like he can handle himself at least.

He can certainly handle himself. He can handle himself for seventeen years in a row, in fact.

Seventeen years, huh. That's a long time to go without letting your friends know you're okay.

Indeed. He missed our wedding, the birth of our son, more birthdays than I care to remember...

Did he at least give a reason?

He had several, all valid. But what sort of friends would we be if we did not worry, reasons or not?

Well yeah. It'd just be worse if he didn't have one, right?

Exactly. Though after so long, I'd say he's used those particular reasons up, no matter how good they were.

True.

Still... okay is better than the alternative.

[Video]

paladinlost - 2015-08-09 01:30 (UTC) - Expand