paladinlost | 101st moon [video]

Ladies, gentlemen and Pokémon, this is a Public Service Announcement.

[The video shows a group of extremely nervous Pokémon. That is probably for the best, as Cecil sounds coldly furious and the sight of his face would surely not be pretty.]

As many of you know, weather moves are both learned naturally by multiple species and available as TMs at either Department Store. They have the power to set up dozens of interesting battle strategies, or to facilitate or impair travel in a pinch.

They also have the power to kill innocent plants.

[The Pokégear abruptly turns towards a vegetable garden. ...Or at least, it must have been a vegetable garden once. Right now, it's a crispy, soggy, sandy, frozen mess of murdered tomatoes and destroyed cucumbers.]

Please teach your Pokémon and teammates that certain moves should not be practiced in urban environments. Please repeat that rule to them every day, even when they should already know it. Otherwise, you might have to deal with ruined landscaping, wasted gardening hours, and over twenty Pokémon who will be grounded for the rest of their natural lives.

[Anyone still listening can practically hear said Pokémon whimper; Cecil certainly sounds angry enough to warrant it.

...But suddenly, all that fury disappears, leaving behind a paladin who sounds almost normal. Almost.]

That was our Public Service Announcement for the day. Do be careful while training, everyone, and remember that even the weakest attack can cause extensive damage to your surroundings.

[His team won't forget that in a hurry.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

For the third year in a row, I'll not have the chance to taste my own tomatoes. No punishment is too harsh.

[Yes, it is.]

_{[THIRD year? Henry's brows meet in concern.]}

Maybe you're just not...meant to have tomatoes.

Or perhaps I am meant to chase all Grimers away from Celadon City, and teach careless young Pokémon that their actions have consequences.

_{[Henry just looks lost at this point.]}

I heard somewhere you can grow tomatoes in doors...do you live anywhere right now?

I live here, but the house is even more chaotic than the garden.

_{[Before, Henry was concerned and maybe sympathetic. But now his Judging You face has appeared.]/sub>

Can't you keep tabs on your own pokemon?}

I only have two eyes but seventy Pokémon to watch with them, including a fully-trained ninja. Once in a while, a handful of them slip through the cracks of my vigilance for a few hours.

[Maybe he shouldn't mention that he doesn't even know where his Greninja is right now.]

Seventy!?

_{[Henry tries to imagine having that many Pokemon underfoot and instantly feels dizzy.]}

Do you use the Storage Boxes at all?

Not unless I absolutely have to. I bought this house to ensure they could all breathe fresh air and exercise every day, after all.

[Good thing it's a large house, with a decent yard.]

I think it might be time to start using some sort of...cycling out plan? Maybe by Pokemon type so you can teach them about their moves one at a time?

Perhaps I'll do so for the younger ones, yes. For the older and supposedly wiser ones, the abolition of their ice cream privilege should be enough of a reminder.

[Cue wailing.]

Well, good luck...

_{[He winces. That's so many unhappy Pokemon right there.]}

Thank you. I'll need a lot of it, both to rebuild my garden and to survive future attempted mutinies.