paladinlost | 90th moon [video]

Everyone, look at the wonderful meal my team prepared for me! Is it not by far the tastiest-looking meal you've ever seen?

[Wow, Cecil sure sounds enthusiastic about his meal today. Overly enthusiastic, even, to the point that most of it seems faked. Just like a father loudly praising his child's particularly ugly macaroni artwork to the skies when witnesses are present.

Which is a surprisingly appropriate comparison, as the "meal" he now shows to the world only looks the part when compared to tar-coated cement. The chicken seems raw, the barbecue sauce has fuzzy grey and green bits, the pasta could be recognized as overcooked twenty paces away, the potatoes would easily replace the aforementioned cement...]

Why, it looks so wonderful, I cannot bear to ruin it with a bite! Perhaps I should freeze it, and keep it intact on a shelf as a testament to their talent-

[Multiples annoyed grumblings can heard, and a blue tentacle moves into the frame, holding a fork and waving it angrily. No, trainer, we prepared this so you could show the world our boundless talent and enjoy our efforts. You've done the first, now do the second. Or else.]

...If you all insist.

[The Pokégear is set down on the table and promptly picked up by one of the Pokémon present, allowing Cecil to appear on the screen, fork in hand. He hesitates for a few seconds, picks a piece of chicken up, brings it to his mouth, takes a wary bite...

His eyes quickly widen, and the Gear is promptly turned off just as a Lilligant calls out in alarm.]

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[...Well that couldn't have gone downhill faster.]

Woah, you alright?

[Not that that meal didn't look astounding or anything, but good gosh.]

...I want to die a quick, painless death. Please.

[There. Short, sweet and to the point. Also, that ceiling looks very nice.]

[Ah geeze, that doesn't sound good.]

Gosh, er...maybe you should go lie down for a while or something?

[And by lie down he means somewhere that's not presumably the floor.]

I am lying down, technically. Lying down elsewhere would involve shifting and moving and possibly tasting that terrible, terrible meal again.

[Those two kitchen chairs will have to do, at least for the next hour.]

[Eugh...stay strong, friend.]

You think you'll be alright?

...Sooner or later, surely. I might have to burn my tastebuds with a week's worth of spicy meals, but that'll be a small price to pay.

[As long as they're not prepared by his team, of course.]

[Jimmy couldn't help but chuckle weakly at that.]

Well, I guess it could be worse! At least you're not really sick or anything, yeah? That's a good thing.

Thank goodness for that small detail, at least. If I'd actually swallowed that mouthful, I'd be spending the next week with the nurses.

Well hey, maybe next time your team wants to cook something, you could give them a hand?

Certainly, should they not keep it from me as a surprise again. They are obviously in need of supervision even for basic tasks.

Aww, well they meant well at least! I think it's kinda nice! My Pokemon haven't done anything like that for me before.

[Not knocking them or anything. They know they can't cook, at least.]

I do hope that if this inspires them to try their paws out at cooking, it'll also inspire them to take lessons first.

[Note to self: Sign everyone in the house up for cooking lessons.]

...But it was nice of them to try, yes.

[At least you managed to survive the effort! If anything, that's cause for celebration, once you're not feeling quite as nauseous.]

Sounds like a good idea! Who knows, they might actually be really good!

[Jimmy...]

...After many hours of practice and with very fresh ingredients, perhaps. Opposable thumbs would also help greatly.

[Having two out of three just isn't enough, it turns out.]

Of course! ...Maybe they can try an easier hobby to start out with, then.

[One that's less likely to kill their trainer.]

Painting. Painting is simple and harmless. Until they try to repaint a whole Pokémart with watercolors.

[He's not saying that any member of his team did that, but.]

There you go! Just get them some paint and paper and let them have fun.

[Oh come on, paint washes off doesn't it? It sounds like a better idea than cooking, at least.]

Rosie already has plenty of both of those, but she rarely shares them. Considering her jars of paint have been upended over her head more than once, I can hardly blame her.

[The stories he could tell about the (mis)use of art supplies, really...]

How 'bout arts and crafts then? Other stuff than just painting, like drawing or making paper snowflakes or something.

...How would one make snowflakes without water or ice?

[Serious and important question here.]

...Oh, you've never made a paper snowflake before?

Never, and as far as I know neither has Rosie. Can they be done without human adult supervision?

Well yeah, s'long as you think you can trust them with scissors. They're really easy to make.

...Some could be trusted with scissors, but others would do worse damage with those than they did with the potatoes. What a shame.

Maybe give it a try when you can watch them sometime, then! It's pretty easy and fun...you just fold up pieces of paper and cut shapes into the folds to make snowflakes!

[video]

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