paladinlost | 103rd moon [video]

[Please don't joke about egg babies like that. Have one somewhat horrified young man just not knowing what to say for a moment.]

.... P-Please don't eat them.

Wha- I was hardly going to eat these! I've only been thinking of a regular, poached Blissey egg, I swear it!

[...Considering there's a baby Happiny in one of those piles, that might not be so reassuring.]

Y-You eat Blissey eggs? But... what if there's a Happiny in the egg?

[HOW COULD YOU]

I swear to Cosmos I can tell the edible and fertilized ones apart. The color is different, no father is involved, Noelle offers them to me nearly every morning with a smile...

[And surely she would not encourage him to eat her children.]

[This boy is still going to be skeptical.]

If you say so...

I promise. Each of these eggs will find a loving home and trainer, never ending up on a dinner plate.

[Well, a lot will certainly end up somewhere like the Breeding Center, but optimism never hurts.]

[The Lapras eggs catch his attention.]

Are there any water-types?

We have... Feebas, Finneon, Froakie, Lapras, Magikarp, Omanyte and Wooper. Have you been looking for any of those species?

I think the only one I'd want out of those is the Lapras.

An excellent species to train if you intend to travel by water. Or to battle, for that matter; considering the probable fathers, the babies should be... very talented.

I do. I don't think I'd battle much with it...

That's fine too, as long as it gets all the exercise it needs. And a nice trip would fulfill that well enough.

I can do that. I want to see all of Johto before going back to Kanto.

Are you certain? You'll not see Kanto for a very long time, if that's your goal.

I don't mind. I got stuck in Kanto the last time I was here. I'm not traveling in a group anymore because of that.

...Groups do have that disadvantage, but I find that the company is very much worth it. Though I suppose everyone has different travel preferences.

I've got my Pokémon. That's enough company for me.

[Mostly because his best friend isn't here and was probably dead. Probably.]

They do have a gift for chasing away loneliness without having a stifling presence, especially when exploring remote locations.

They also don't eat all of my food.

That greatly depends on their species. And the size of your team.

I've got six with me, and the biggest one I have, my Altaria, likes berries more.

How lucky. You could have found yourself training a Pokémon that could easily eat its weight in sweets every day, instead.

My Pidgeot was like that...

[Overate it's weight in food every day.]

I imagine moving a pair of wings quickly enough to bear and move your own weight must burn energy reserves at an alarming speed, along with the grocery budget.

That's true. I'm kind of hoping I'll find him again one day.

Where and when was he last by your side? Perhaps he's not moved too far away since then.

Ilex Forest. We were headed to Azalea Town.

...If I was a bird, I'd stay near such a rich source of food. But then again, it might be too cramped to fly properly.

I don't think he'd stick around there. He liked the open sky way too much.

I can easily understand the feeling, but as most of Johto offers open skies, that'll not help you find him easily.

I know. I get lucky sometimes, so maybe I'll be this time, too.

Perhaps. I'd suggest not trying the slot machine at the Game Corner for some time, then. You'd not want to waste that luck.

I don't think I'm old enough to go in there.

Is that so? I did not think that games could have lower age limits.

[The ones that involve money do, Cecil.]

There's also a lot of weird people in there.

...The sort of weird people that are simply odd and not the best company, or the sort that could be a threat to others' safety?

I think both of those.

...All the more reason to not waste your luck there before you find your Pidgeot.

[So tactful, Cecil.

Also is it just him or do these Network posts by breeders seem to be showing exponentially more eggs over time...]

I don't think that comment was all that appreciated...

[That's how the Pokémon World will end: buried under a pile of eggs.]

Noelle is usually happy to give me her edible eggs! I did not imagine they'd believe I'd eat their own children!

I guess it was still bad timing to say that, either way.

[Edible eggs? ...huh. He didn't know that was a thing. Or, well, edible in the sense that you're not eating an unhatched Poochyena or something.]

Do you think you'll be able to find homes for all of those?

[Eating an unhatched Poochyena is a moral line Cecil has no intention of crossing, thank you.]

...To be honest, it's unlikely. There were over a hundred eggs by the time I arrived home; I expect a few dozens will find trainers easily, but the others... Well, the Breeding Center will surely accept them, though they might not have more luck that I will.

Over a hundred?

[Dear god.]

I can't imagine trying to take care of that many eggs at once.

[And what if they hatched before you could get rid of them??]

My Pokémon help. Whether they initially intended to or not. Except for Ceo and Lia; I'd rather not risk premature hatchings.

[Because that would be terrible, yes.]

I don't blame you.

...what kind of Pokemon are the eggs? Maybe...Maybe I can take one, to help lighten your load a little.

[He isn't sure why he replies to these; it always makes him feel like he should take one, at least...but he doesn't have all that many Pokemon, so it's probably fine to offer.]

There are... They more or less cover the whole range of types and sizes, truly. From the Rock-type Amaura to the Dark-type Zorua, including Bug-types such as Heracross and the Psychic Ralts, we have... Forty-six species, I believe? Or forty-seven; the Nidorans separate themselves by gender.

[See, Kaneki, this is the fate that awaits people who think they don't have that many Pokémon.]

That's...really impressive.

[It's the same for everyone, really. You think you'd never become a crazy cat lady, but THEN...]

I've got a few Bug-types by now. I've read some about Heracross, but I think they're harder than most to find in the wild since they live up in the trees.

Do they? Osmose was Rydia's starter; I've never had to seek him out.

[If anything, the opposite happened.]

As their mother has learned much from TMs, the eggs should know a handful of moves already. Would that interest you?

[Kaneki nods.]

Yeah, that would be great, thank you. I can send the money for it right away.

A generous offer, but it's unnecessary. My delivery Pokémon can take the payment once it's reached you, to ensure you are not left unsatisfied. Where are you at the moment?

Alright! I'm in Goldenrod right now, staying at the hotel here. There's no rush or anything, though.

For you, perhaps, but I've no doubt a certain young Heracross will soon very much look forward to meeting its new trainer. I'll send its mother to make the delivery; have you ever seen a Butterfree?

I've seen them flying overhead in the forest before, but I've never seen one up close.

[He's seen plenty of Caterpie and Metapod after a visit to the Ilex Forest, however.]

[Who hasn't?]

Consider this your opportunity to behold one from a closer angle, then. As she'll be leaving from Celadon, she should reach you within two days.

I'll keep an eye out for her, then! Thank you.

You're welcome! I hope you and your new partner will get along!

W-Wow....

The pile is... impressive to behold, I admit. But it's not exactly what I strived for.

Do you know what species they all are?

I do, yes. After a few clutches, you learn to recognize their egg patterns. This time, I have over forty.

Oh, cool!

Um...what do you have?

I have an Axew, Budews, Chespins, Dratinis, Ekans, Finneons, Goomies, Houndours, Litwicks, Magikarps... Between all these species, I do believe I cover every possible type.

Ah! Houndour, really? That's perfect! Could I buy one and have it sent to someone else?

Of course you can! Is it a surprise gift? Would you like the egg to be decorated or wrapped?

Oh! Definitely! Yeah, she'll love that! It's for Sansa Stark!

Very well. Do you know where she is at the moment, and if she is staying at an inn?

Uh, I think she was at...Cerulean City?

Excellent. That's very close by; she should receive her egg before the end of the day, then.

Awesome! I'll send payment right away!

Very well. Please tell whether or not your friend gets along with her present, if you can.

Oh! All right. Thanks!

You're welcome! I hope your thoughtfulness will make her happy.

Trying to find homes for a few surprises?

[Or a lot of surprises. It looks like a lot.

Also those two pink pokemon are very cute what are thoooooooose]

I've not had a 'few' surprises at a time for many years, believe me. But it would make me very happy if they all found loving trainers and teams.

[He cares about them all, really. There's just so many...]

Well, I could probably help you out with that.

[He DOES owe Carolina something for the Eevee egg after all.]

[Now there's good news. Rosie lets out a hopeful Fableeeee? somewhere offscreen.]

Is that so? Are you looking for a type or species in particular? For a certain number of egg moves?

...Hm. Well, I owe my friend something; got anything that's fast and kind of striking? My friend's an unstoppable force of nature, and I want to get her something to match.

...Considering their expected movesets, 'unstoppable force of nature' should fit them all. Would she prefer a species that's fast in combat, or one that'll allow her to travel faster? I can even offer a Fly-compatible bird, though it'll not know the move upon hatching.

[Since he's pretty sure his Goodra is the father, and. Well.]

[...]

Fast in combat. I was thinking more like a literal force of nature, like thunderstorms- I guess I still haven't read up on all these little guys.

...I do have three Electrc-types to offer, though storms might be beyond their strength at first. I'm also mostly certain the Happiny will have the ability to create hailstorms upon hatching, and the Tyrunt should know Earthquake... What types is she training at the moment?

[He looks immediately interested at "electric-types," but doesn't interrupt.]

Right now she has a little fire-type, and our friend York gave her a..."Pancham?" But it hasn't hatched yet.

What electric-types do you have?

Blitzle, Shinx and Tynamo. Of the three, Blitzle is by far the fastest, swift enough to outspeed most of the Water-types who would give a Fire-type starter trouble.

Blitzle sounds right up her alley. I'll take one.

[...and now to get some new eggs for himself.]

Can you tell me more about the two proud mamas showing off their eggs? One was a Blissey, right? The evolution of Chansey?

[North's going to evolve into a Joy someday.]

Excellent. I'll start preparing the egg immediately.

[Or at least, his Tangrowth apparently will.]

That's right, Noelle is indeed a Blissey. One of the most defensive species, and an unending source of high-quality fresh eggs. Rosie is a Clefable; with the proper TMs she can cover nearly every type, and her ability protects her from any sort of indirect damage.

And did both of your lovely ladies contribute to the big pile, there? You mentioned Happiny, earlier.

They did, yes. I have one Happiny, along with three Cleffas, and I can guarantee that they'll all know at least five egg moves. Rhe girls tend to select their partners carefully.

...hmmm.

I've been working at the Pokemon Center and I've been thinking about raising a Blissey. If your girls wouldn't mind, I'd love to take the Happiny and one of the Cleffas off your hands too.

[Since he's been working instead of sleeping he's got the cash for it]

[Behind Cecil's back, Rosie and Noelle look at each other for a few seconds before nodding. Without even turning to face them, Cecil smiles.]

I do believe you've earned maternal approval on this side. Luckily for you; they can be... picky, when it comes to their children's welfare.

I wouldn't expect anything less. I'll take good care of their little ones.

It's much appreciated. I'd rather not have to hold them back while they try to hunt you down, after all.

Jiminy Christmas, did these all happen at once?

[What kind of crazy orgy did your Pokémon organize, dude?]

These happened over a period of approximately eight hours, while I was at work. They know I do not usually encourage such large clutches.

[Cecil doesn't know. Cecil doesn't want to know.]

I see I've got a lot to look forward to. Maybe I oughta get North to invest in a covered wagon with me.

[York leans back in his seat, arms crossed.]

I guess for now, though, I could help take one of those off your hands.

You've been designated as a breeder? Expect your later clutches to be larger. Pokémon raised by trainers have fewer eggs than their well-bred cousins.

[Which is obviously what York needed to hear.]

I'm glad to hear it. Do you seek any specific type? A species that will someday facilitate travel, or a particular ability?

[His eyebrows shoot up at the first comment--or maybe warning's the better word--but he just shakes his head and laughs quietly and moves along.]

Well, I don't really know enough about these critters yet to pick one in particular, but...got anything cuddly, grows up roughly the size of a small mountain?

Let's see, now... I have plenty that are cuddly and plenty that will grow large, but both at once...

[Does Onix count as cuddly? No, probably not.]

Do you like bears and Ice-types? Cubchoos become larger than most humans after evolving, and they can be quite affectionate.

An ice bear, huh? You've got my attention. What do they look like?

They resemble- Hmphhhhh.

['Hmphhhhh' being the most perfect description for the Beartic that just shoved herself in front of her trainer, beaming. Isn't she a beauty?]

Oh. Well, hello there.

[IT'S AN EIGHT FOOT POLAR BEAR.]

You the fully evolved form? That's perfect.

[Perfect? She likes that word. She likes it a lot.

Cecil would like to breathe even more, though.]

Beartics can learn a respectable number of moves, whether naturally or through external means. They can also help their trainers travel through water.

Strong, too, right? I'll bet. Sold, man, I'll take one.

[He does a quick calculation in his head; yeah, the money should be fine, with all three of them working. No problem. He nods to himself.]

I bet they come in extra handy with the weather turning colder and all.

That they do. They can easily battle during snow and hailstorms, which is an advantage few types can offer, and their fur is perfect to warm yourself up for a few minutes on the road. As long as it's not wet, of course.

Great. I'm guessing it's one of the ones in the big pile, so fifteen hundred?

That's right. I usually send my flying Pokémon to deliver the eggs; they all bear a pouch to take the payment. Where are you at the moment?

Cherrygrove City. We're staying at the inn there--you can address the package to 'York,' by the way.

You've recently arrived? In that case, I should send an impressive Pokémon to do the delivery, as a... taste of what you might someday train. Have you ever seen a Dragonite?

Dragonite? Can't say I have, but I got a feeling I'm about to.

Indeed. Expect a large orange dragon, bearing a bag and a small pouch. He should arrive tomorrow; you'll have no trouble finding each other.

Haha, yeah, I'm sure. Hard to miss a big orange dragon around town.

Anyway, thank you, man. I can assure you your oopsie baby's gonna be in good hands.

You're welcome, though I should be the one thanking you. I've no doubt you and your new bear will have a very happy partnership.

Oh, it's not for me. It's for my buddy North. Real upstanding guy, trust me. Couldn't ask for a better Pokémon partner.

So many people are buying eggs for friends, today. I'm glad to see such generosity.

It's been a while since I could buy stuff for my pals. I'm enjoying the novelty while it lasts.

Try to make it last until Christmas, at least. It would be a shame to lose all your enjoyment before the biggest shopping season of the year.

Ah, I see your team's been busy...

Busy, active and affectionate. I should be glad.

[He's not. Much.]

You would just prefer if they'd been slightly less affectionate?

...You can replace that 'slightly' with 'very'. Or 'extremely'.

That's always how it goes, isn't it?

Always. I've long accepted that they do this on purpose, and that watching my reaction is one of the main reasons.

Have you considered simply not showing any reaction, in that case?

...I can show no reaction when faced with unpleasant politicians or murderous monsters, but this is asking for too much.

Ahh, I suppose that's true...

*well no actually Sion's enough of a lying liar who lies that he can ignore egg shenanigans with his own team at least, but he kind of gets it!*

Though I could perhaps attempt to show boundless enthusiasm and happiness at the sight of eggs. It might cool down their interest for some time.

Presuming they don't take it as encouragement, of course.

...I cannot possibly win in this situation, can I.

I suppose that depends on what qualifies as "winning" it, really.

Two full years without having to deal with unexpected piles of dozens eggs would qualify, as far as I'm concerned.

... Is that a Magikarp?

[He's been looking at Gyarados recently, so...]

Ah, yes. Were you seeking one? They'll not know Tackle, but they should be very healthy.

[Please take a Magikarp. They deserve love and respect, and they never get them.]

Sure. I've been meaning to get my hands on a Gyarados anyway. It's not a bird, but it's a flying type.

You intend to train all the Flying-type species? How many are part of your team at the moment?

Ten so far, though I have a bunch of Pokemon that have wings but aren't technically Flying type.

If they can learn Fly, I'd say they count. Then again, plenty of Flying-type are somehow incompatible with that particular HM.

There's some that can't that probably should. Scizor has wings and can kind of hover, so why can't it fly?

...It'd say its wings might be too weak to hold a human's weight, but I've raised a Swablu. The answer cannot be so easy.

Yeah. It's... well, I guess this place doesn't make a lot of sense a lot of the time.

It truly does not. I could spend months discussing every moment of madness I've witnessed over the years, and that time would surely be enough to give me additional material for weeks.

It helps that I'm used to weird, I guess.

An advantage that has surely greatly helped you, and will undoubtedly keep doing so. People who are used to monsters as common wildlife seem to fare particularly well.

Monsters as common wildlife not so much, but I spent three years fighting aliens, so I've had to deal with unexpected stuff a lot.

Threats from beyond the planet, an ever-present danger. Were they consecutive years, or the total over your whole lifetime?

Uh... three in a row, yeah.

They must have been very stressful years. Thankfully, this world is not nearly so dangerous, even with Team Rocket.

Yeah. And even that mess last year with the legendary Pokemon wasn't that bad.

It was messy, but it was also over very quickly. That is more than can be said about other incidents that took place in this world.

My goodness!

So many eggs....

How many can they have at once?

By waiting until I've left the house, and working efficiently as a team.

[That almost makes them sound like a criminal group, but Cecil doesn't want to know more of the details.]

As a trainer, I'm very lucky. A breeder's clutch would have been much larger.

[The third of the merry band of mercs arrives!

...Okay, no. She starts out on voice out of habit, but quickly switches to video, since that seems to be norm around here.]

I'd be willing to take one or two off your hands. One of those looks like one I was looking at the other week.

That happen to be a Tyrantum egg?

[Ah, a woman of great taste. Cecil digs into the pile to grab the egg in question.]

It is, yes. I've no idea what moves it'll know, but considering the father's type there should be a handful. In what other species are you interested?

Mmm, I've been looking for something interesting for a... dear friend of mine.

[You heard that right, Cecil. There was an unnecessary amount of emphasis on that word. Is she making some kind of stupid joke

yeah]

Got any recommendations?

A... dear friend?

[That emphasis was very suspicious indeed. As if...]

Would you consider a dual-type species particularly interesting? And does your friend have a favorite animal? I might have a few fitting eggs.

I... don't actually know his favourite animal, come to think of it.

[Wasn't much discussed when there weren't even trees on earth left.]

But dual-types are pretty new to all of our parties, I think. And he did mention something about wanting a pokémon big enough to ride.

A dual-type that's large enough to ride? That's easy enough. For the first, my team's... dalliances has resulted in a Deerling egg. They combine the Normal and Grass types, and their evolution is large enough to bear a human's weight easily.

103rd moon [video]

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