paladinlost | 87th moon [video]

[Twin Eevees in Everstone collars pop up on the screen] Sometimes people go away and don't come back for a long, long time.

Yeah, what Nand said. Daddy was gone for a whole month before he came back. Do you have someone else to take care of you if your trainer doesn't come back?

[Sho's Eevees had developed some fairly interesting ideas on trainers. To be fair to the twins, though, spending much time around Sho was bound to drive anyone crazy.]

But if he was gone like that, this wouldn't work at all, right?

[Or at least, that's how she thinks it works. It's not like her trainer does a lot with the Pokégear in the first place.]

We still have food, so we'll be fine for a while. But Avenger is starting to be a brat again.

I dunno. Mommy shoved all of daddy's things in the computer when he left -

Including Riemannian Zeta-Function and boy was she angry!

[The boy Eevee sighs at the interruption] so we didn't have the chance to see if it would still work. Are there any places that you think he might be? Do you have friends to help you look?

Oh, oh! Are you friends with a Snorlax? If you stick someone under a Snorlax's arm they can't be as much of a brat. Or, well, it's easier to ignore them.

Edited (words yargh) 2013-12-01 21:54 (UTC)

He likes to visit Gyms a lot, but he doesn't do that much anymore... He also-

I bet a Snorlax ate him. You wouldn't stick me under the arm of something that ate him, would you?

[An amused Banette shoves his head in the picture, grinning at Rosie the whole time.]

Shut up, Avenger. Go bother Lia.

[Nand sits up and slicks her ears back in the same way that RZF does. It's rather weirder on an Eevee than on a Liepard.] Snorlax-es don't eat people! I know 'cause Beelze hasn't eaten anyone at all and mommy and daddy wouldn't be mad at her if she did!

[Impressionable Eevees and sociopaths make for interesting travelling.]You're just trying to scare everyone by saying that!

[Nor ignores both Nand and Avenger in favour of talking to Rosie more]Okay, well. Try contacting the pokemon of the gym trainers and see if he's been there anyway? What else were you trying to say?

That's just because she hasn't had the opportunity ye-

[And that would be when Rosie decides to push him offscreen.]

As I was saying, he has guests and he'd never be rude to the point of leaving guests alone deliberately. Not even for the pretty ladies at the Gym.

Sure she has!

[Nand sits up in indignation on the part of her Snorlax friend, only for Nor to take a cue from Rosie and sit on his sister with his front paws in her mouth. Hey, it works to stop daddy from ranting.]

Huh, okay that is weird. I still think it'd probably be a good idea to try calling around? Get your friends to have their trainers help you look? What does your trainer look like, anyway? We'll keep an eye out for him too.

He has very long pretty white hair, just like a lady, and he wears nice makeup and lipstick, just like a lady! ...But he's not a lady at all. He's supposed to be in Celadon, but we couldn't find him around here at all...

[She sounds extremely crestfallen by that.]

Do lots of ladies have white hair? Mommy's is grey, but it's really really long. Daddy's is grey too, but it's a lighter grey...more like Taboo. What's makeup?

[Belphe is not a terribly fashionable person. She's more dowdy when left to herself. Very dowdy. There are things the twins just haven't encountered.]

It's like paint, but for faces! So his lips look all purple and pretty, and his eyelids are darker than the rest of his face!

[Which is admittedly not difficult to achieve, considering his natural paleness.]

[Nor looks bemused]

Wouldn't that be really hard to wash off?

...He does spend a lot of time in the bathroom in the evenings...

[And now his whole team will be trying to spy on him during that time. How nice.]

You should get him turpentine! That's what daddy uses when he's cleaning off after painting! I don't think it works on black, though.

[Nor is trying to be helpful! His sister, though, squirms like mad and adds]

Don't be a non-integrated variable, Nor! Daddy's supposed to be black somewhere, just like we're brown and white. [They've picked up some weird insults from the nutcase they belong to.]

HEY! Don't you call me that you...you...you invariant under evolution excuse for an Eevee! [Nand shrieks in response to her brother, then bounds off]

I'M TELLING RIEMANNIAN ZETA-FUNCTION WHAT YOU CALLED ME!

Sisters are dumb. [Nor informs Rosie, seriously] Try turpentine, though. Oh, oh, or gin can work if you can't get turpentine!

Brothers and sisters can be equally bad, you know.

[She should know, she has plenty of both.]

I haven't been allowed to buy the fun products since I tried decorating the Pokémart. Would vodka work just as well? We still have some of that.

I dunno, I don't have any brothers. Aleph Null is a boy, too, but he spends most of his time glaring at Riemannian Zeta-Function and trying to convince everyone that he's a better leader than she is.

[Nor is pretty sure that one of these days RZF is going to kill him just to shut him up.]

Why didn't they want you to decorate the Pokémart? They're all the same and boring.

I bet that goes over well with her.

[Rosie isn't very good at sarcasm, but sometimes it does shine through.]

I know! We just wanted to add a little color, to brighten it up, but then all the humans there yelled at us.

Like a graph of a function crossing a vertical asymptote.

[The truly sad thing is that Nor actually knows what he's talking about. Nor, Nand, and Riemannian Zeta-Function are quite possibly the most mathematically educated pokemon around. Otherwise totally unequipped to survive, but maths they have down.]

That's dumb. You should get some other pokemon to help you get in without being seen! To cause a big distraction so that you can make it pretty before anyone notices, then go join in the distraction so they don't know it's you!

[Rosie's mathematical education is sadly lacking, but she does get the gist of that.]

...I could get Gogo to openly court the others while I work. That usually gets everyone nearby to drop everything to stop him.

[She almost shudders as she says it. The words make her feel dirty.]

You don't sound very thrilled about that. [Nor says contemplatively, tapping his chin with his paw in an approximation of how daddy does it. Eevees are not really built for that move.] It's too bad that your Gogo isn't a girl, I could send Eros after him. Eros is also creepy.

Gogo can be a girl, if he wants. Gogo can be anything he wants. We just treat him like a boy because his other trainer did.

[Horror drops from every syllable she utters. Urgh, Dittos.]

Oh. A ditto. [Nor wasn't even sure what he thought about it, but...] Well...if you can make Gogo be a girl, I bet Eros would go court...it? Her? Him? I don't know. Eros will go for anything female.

...If he's distracted by one female, will he leave the others alone?

[She has a lot of little sisters, after all.]

If that one female is paying attention to him, yes. He gets sort of obsessy over a girl until he's sure she won't pay attention to him and then looks for someone else.

[Nor rubs at one of his ears]

I can also ask Beelze and Riemannian Zeta-Function to keep an eye on him. They're really protective of girls that Eros might go after.

Gogo would definitely pay attention. Too much attention.

[But if the other party is willing...]

Frying pans work well against him, too. Especially when applied to his face.

That should work, though. We can set up some pokemon to help make sure that Gogo and Eros keep their attention on each other, and to keep the Trainers looking away from us. ...You will let me help, right?

[Nor looks pleadingly at Rosie. Sho never lets him play in the paint.]

Of course! For such a large surface, sharing our ideas and efforts will definitely lead to the best result. And my trainer lets me buy items by myself sometimes, so we should have more than enough paint!

[She looks positively starry-eyed at the thought.]

Yay! Mommy does most of the shopping because daddy is really bad at it. He gets distracted.

[Nor dances a little bit at the thought. SO MUCH FUN, man. He's excited now.]

That's how I obtained shopping rights, too! He'd just stare at items he wanted to buy and do nothing, so I learned to count the money.

[Which is a very useful talent, when illicitly buying paint.]

Oh, I can count too! I can do lots of maths. Lots and lots of maths.

[This is the thousand-yard stare of an Eevee with almost as many hours of maths education as of training.]

I should see if mommy will let me go shopping with her.

[You are a bad influence, Rosie.]

...How much is lots and lots?

[Because she usually associates that look with terrible nightmares.]

You should! It makes them happy when we offer to hold the bags.

I know geometry and algebra and trigonometry and advanced algebra and pre-calculus and calculus and probability and statistics and numerical analysis and sequences and singularity theory and valuation theory and ... lots.

[Nor blinks a couple of times and shakes his head.]

Daddy really likes maths. I'll ask mommy next time she's going!

Edited 2013-12-20 07:32 (UTC)

...That's almost more maths than I have attacks.

[And she has a lot of those.]

Your mommy doesn't like them as much, right? Good luck convincing her!

Edited 2013-12-21 20:40 (UTC)

Me too. Daddy says we should know the maths, though, so that we work better as a team. He's really big on us being a team.

[It's weird, to Nor, to not be doing one-on-ones all the time like everyone else seems to. The rest of the time he thinks it's weird that nobody else seems to work in the same kind of teams as his.]

No, mommy likes pain-killers. She gets headaches a lot.

[Which worries Nor, because he doesn't understand that Sho is the source of said headaches.]

Being a team is great! But then we're not allowed to fight all the big matches together...

[Maybe because there's over forty of them.]

That's not good at all. Have you tried giving her potions?

We only get to when we're all out on the routes.

[There were never that many for Sho. When there are he'd probably start sorting them into active teams.]

Noooo...do you think potions would work on Trainers?

You're really lucky. When we're on the road, most of us have to stay at home or in the PC. It's not always fun.

[Especially the PC part.]

Maybe? They have funny reactions to berries, though, so it might be the same with potions.

We used to have a team mate who figured out how to put himself into the PC. He really, really hated...everyone. It wasn't anything personal, he just hated everybody.

[Element of Opening Upwards was probably much, much happier in the wild.]

Oh, good point. I should make sure that someone is awake to take care of her if there's a problem.

Really? That's a little impressive. And more than a little scary.

[The 'hating everyone' part, at least.]

Yeah, it would be bad if the potion made her headache worse.

[Dealing with one missing person and one canon update coma person - well, Ramza hasn't been sleeping alright. But, he's still trying.

But this isn't Ramza. This is Hildegard, the Noctowl, sitting by Rosie.]
Unless he sprouts wings, he won't be coming back, methinks.

Well, then, he'll simply be growing wings over the next few days. He'd never leave us all alone for Christmas.

[Because they are a very polite family of hosts and would never deliberately be so rude.]

I do hope Dora has not been bothering you in the meantime?

Little Deidameia has been rather bothered by Dora - I know better then to stay when a Dragon is involved.
[Hildegard spreads her wings a little - to fluff herself up.]
If only he'd taken his Talking Device with him - we'd be able to fly to him.

Goodness. It seems I'll have to take the frying pan out again.

[She sighs. Her siblings, sometimes.]

He leaves it here when he goes out to buy food, sometimes. But buying food has never taken so long.

...Hm. Perhaps he was getting food. But then! He collapsed, like Mister Walter.
[hildegard stop your logic train]

Wouldn't that mean he couldn't stay safely away from the tornado?

[And now she'll have nightmares about her beloved trainer getting ripped apart by the wind. Gee, thanks.]

These humans are strong. They can work for long periods of time without rest - I am sure your master is fine.
[c:, Rosie. c:]
If only we could speak their words! I expect not many humans can speak ours.

...But why hasn't he come back, then...?

[It's not that he doesn't love them anymore, right?]

I can write human words a little! I know all the letters! But speaking looks much harder...

Perhaps he's out trying to find a nice gift, for the season of Lights and Ribbons.

Edited 2013-12-06 05:16 (UTC)

...If this means we'll get a better present than some half-burnt cookies...

[Pokemon using the communicators by themselves was a new thing for her, but she can tell easily this little fairy critter was distressed]

What's wrong?

Clefclef fable clefable clefableble, fableclef! Clefablefable!

[Well, it's really Our trainer disappeared when all those weird people showed up, and he still isn't back! He might be hurt or lost somewhere!, but the exact details might be difficult for a human to understand.]

[Kaede nods a few times. She understands the gist of it, sorta.]

Okay, can you write that down please?

[Writing! That's something she can do! Rosie nods before running off. She comes back a minute later, pen and paper in hand. She ends up writing the following words:]

TRAINER MISING 4 DAYS NO CAL

Edited 2013-12-03 16:24 (UTC)

[Oh no, Kaede looks crestfallen, but still ready to help a pokemon in need. She nods back, thinning her lips.]

Where are you? Is anyone else with you?

[Scritch scratch goes the pen, before she raises the paper again.]

CELADON, GUESTS + SIBLINS

[Jeez, she didn't know where that is. Wasn't anywhere around here. Better start asking.]

Gotcha, I'll see what I can do. Stay safe, okay um Clefable was it?

[She beams a little at the offered help before scribbling again, twice as large:]

ROSIE

I'm Kaede! Kaede Kaburagi. I'll try to help you out.. or call the police.

POLISE?

[She's not quite sure about that word, so she takes a few moments to draw something that resembles a Kangaskhan, followed by a large question mark.]

Police, P-o-l-i-c-e. They help deal with crimes like these, got it?

P-O-L-I-C-E

[And then, because she's starting to understand what humans mean by that:]

BLUE LADYS?

[There's something untrustworthy about the man who appears on the screen. It's almost like he's plotting something as he looks at her.]

Why hello there. Little Clefable..

What seems to be the problem?

[On the one hand, between Avenger and Dora she knows what a plotting look is like.

On the other hand, she's not in a position to reject any potential help. Good thing she still has that pad of paper.]

TRAINER STIL NOT BAK

Oh? And what exactly does your trainer look like, mmmm?

[Crocker's glasses give a quick gleam in the darkness.]

[She goes back to the paper pad, and after two or three minutes turns it around to show a surprisingly decent sketch of a man with long white hair, wearing a headband and makeup.]

[Crocker scratches his head.]

No, can't say I've seen him.

[There's a sly grin spreading on Crocker's face but now he has a face to who owns the Clefairy.]

However, if I do see him. Where should I say that you are?

HOME. NO FIRE.

[The part where she managed to keep everyone else from destroying the house is very important, thank you very much.]

And where exactly is home?

[Of course Crocker had other motives like hunting the Clefairy down at some point.]

2 HOUSE LEFT FROM CENTR.

[What, he said exactly. That's as exact as one can get.]

[Denzel falls sideways on the camera with an arm in the air.]

OW!

[He spends a moment or two rubbing himself but he's alright and reappears on the screen.]

What city?

[Rosie grabs her pad to answer that question, when suddenly a shout of Liiiiiiiiiilll!!! is heard from somewhere beyond the video's borders.

Which is all the warning the poor Clefable gets before a Lilligant comes flying at her and the whole image starts to shake. Please be patient while the two girls try to untangle their limbs.]

Dart.

Oh, well. It's only a matter of time little - CLEFAIRY!

Faaaable.

[Comes the complaint from beneath a leaf. She's an evolved and mature adult Clefable, thank you very much.]

Either way you're still a fairy to me.

[Cleffa, Clefairy, Clefable they are all fairies to Crocker anyways.]

Clef clefable?

[But she's still a Normal-type!]

Edited 2014-02-06 18:31 (UTC)

I've been told you come from outer space. That makes you a fairy to me.

[Even if that remark sounds more like aliens where Crocker comes from fairies are also in space or so Crocker believes.]

Fable fablefa?

Gant lillillil.

[Sadly, neither of the girls quite understand that particular leap of logic.]

[It is quite amazing how the man seems to understand Pokemon so well over people.]

You see where I come from fairies also I believe live somewhere in outer space called - FAIRY WORLD!

[How does he do that with his body?]

Clefclef clefable fable?

[Aren't fairies supposed to live in mysterious forests where no men dare tread?]

Where did you hear that nonesense?

[For that, she wriggles a bit beneath Cosmos to grab her paper again.]

BEDTIME STORYS

87th moon [video]

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