paladinlost: (shining)
"This is Cecil Harvey. Leave a message, and I'll respond as soon as possible and convenient.

...No, Rosie, I hardly need to say more-"
paladinlost: (annoyed)
[Cecil is Done With This. Cecil is so Done With This he doesn't even look up from the Pokégear as he walks his way through some Rocket base. It's a miracle he hasn't yet walked into someone, really.]

If anyone had ever thought to ask me what I miss the least about my world, enemy lairs filled with dead ends and hostile creatures would have been near the top of the list. Do criminal leaders not take into account their employees' safety and morale?

Hey! What are you doing here!?

[Nope, still not looking up, even as he takes out a pokéball and throws it.]

I'd petition to the authorities for better working conditions and protections in their name, but I doubt their employers-

I said, what are you doing here!?

-care about such laws.

[Fwooosh, goes the offscreen Flamethrower.]

Nooo, my Zubat!

...Then again, considering I've battled every grunt I've met along the way, I'm hardly in a position to criticize their policies. Or their excellently fireproofed floors, for that matter.
paladinlost: (surprised)
I now understand why Barboach and Qwilfish are so rarely seen on the network.

[Cecil's fishing profile takes up the whole screen today, thanks to a particularly enthusiastic cameramon. He doesn't bother to look at it, the still water holding every bit of his attention. But as he finishes his sentence, the video starts to shake slightly...]

I've spent the last five days looking for them, without results. I expected as such from Qwilfish, as I've been told they are rare on this route, but Barboach is supposedly a common species. Perhaps I should- Rosie, what's wrong? Why are you-

[The shaking only grows as Cecil is interrupted and thrown into the water by a double flying tackle. A double flying tackle coming from a Barboach and a Qwilfish. A Barboach and a Qwilfish that take the time to wink at the camera as they fly by.

Rosie is shaking so hard from laughter by that point that it takes her two tries to turn the Pokégear off. Such a terrible child.]
paladinlost: (blow)
To be in accordance with this world's natural laws, a whole half of my heredity should have been removed from my body. The half I inherited from my Lunarian father, to be exact. As there are only two half-Lunarians in the world, I cannot know exactly how it sets me apart from pure humans, but there is no doubt that there must have been something for this land to take away from me.

[Cecil doesn't know why he feels the need to talk about this now. His words come hesitantly, like he doesn't quite know if he wants to keep going.]

...Yet I feel no different, barring the usual loss of magic that even full humans go through. I look the same. I act the same. My skin still does not tan, no matter how much time I spend on the beach. The manner in which I age remains constant even after five years spent in this world. It's as if the absence — or presence, for that matter — of my Lunarian blood is completely meaningless, as far as my life is concerned.

[He stops for a moment, and then here it comes. The true, uncertain confession.]

I... don't know what to think of that. At all.
paladinlost: (drinking)
Ladies, gentlemen, I wish you all a happy new year.

[Cecil's tone is the same he's used for dozens of formal addresses back in Baron. Coupled with such a short greeting, it sounds... odd.]

Every new year should come with a resolution. Ideally one that can be achieved with hard work but without unnecessary privation.

[Which is why there's currently a cup of coffee in his hands. Not getting rid of that anytime soon.]

I've found one that suits me, but I'll need everyone's help to prepare. Can you think of any Pokémon species that you've not seen any of us train, at least at the moment? The type and the temperament matter little; the only criterion of importance is the lack of popularity. Any interesting lead would be greatly appreciated.

[He moves to turn the Gear off, stops himself, speaks once more.]

...Also, I've found myself in possession of far too much chocolate liqueur for me to consume. Would anyone be so kind as to take some of it off my hands?

paladinlost: (panicked)
[Ahhh, the last weekend of November. As nearly always, every city is invaded by dozens of confused new arrivals, strange Legendaries party like it's 1999, innocent trainers and breeders wake up on the beach or in the middle of the Ice Cave, not-so innocent Rockets do the same, Cecil's house and yard are overtaken by thousands upon thousands of shiny and non-shiny Zubats...

...Wait, what?]

If anyone could help me chase these away before this world returns to normal, it'd be much appreciated!
paladinlost: (err)
[Cecil does not speak nor does he show himself when he first turn the Pokégear on, but his purpose should still be clear. Three piles of eggs, two small and one extremely large, are proudly displayed with signs that claim prices of P500, P1000 and P1500 respectively. Rosie the Clefable and Noelle the Blissey are also present, repeatedly pointing at the eggs and at the signs as if to show off their wares. Other Pokémon, while unseen, make various comments as it goes on, mostly to praise the strength of their unhatched children.

Cecil lets them do so for a minute, before he finally comments on the whole situation.]

...Noelle, is this an inappropriate time to mention I've been craving poached eggs the whole day?

[Mercifully, he turns off the Pokégear before the ensuing screaming becomes too loud.]

((Eggs a-plenty still available here!))

paladinlost: (soft)
[The video starts simply, with a wooden floor. On the floor rest a bright red chest and a flowering plant. On the chest, a crowned bridal veil and a large stone have been placed. Cecil can be heard somewhere offscreen, walking aimlessly.]

Over the last five years-

[He stops himself for a moment. He's been telling people that this day was coming for months, but removing the 'almost'...]

Over the last five years, we've had four opportunities to obtain keepsakes from home. These are the four gifts I've received.

[The footsteps stops. Cecil's legs are now visible to the left of the screen.]

They might not seem like much, but they are my only physical link to worlds that I've not seen in far too long. Thus, I was wondering... I was wondering what you'd consider an object worthy of representing your home. What sort of memento you'd consider a blessing, if you were to receive it. And why that particular object is so important to you.

[A hand reaches down, slowly passes over all four items. Stills a few moments over the veil, but soon rises up again, out of sight.]

I'll be happy to share my stories, if anyone is interested. But I'd truly like to know what everyone considers important, when every familiar comfort is out of reach.
paladinlost: (murderous)
Ladies, gentlemen and Pokémon, this is a Public Service Announcement.

[The video shows a group of extremely nervous Pokémon. That is probably for the best, as Cecil sounds coldly furious and the sight of his face would surely not be pretty.]

As many of you know, weather moves are both learned naturally by multiple species and available as TMs at either Department Store. They have the power to set up dozens of interesting battle strategies, or to facilitate or impair travel in a pinch.

They also have the power to kill innocent plants.

[The Pokégear abruptly turns towards a vegetable garden. ...Or at least, it must have been a vegetable garden once. Right now, it's a crispy, soggy, sandy, frozen mess of murdered tomatoes and destroyed cucumbers.]

Please teach your Pokémon and teammates that certain moves should not be practiced in urban environments. Please repeat that rule to them every day, even when they should already know it. Otherwise, you might have to deal with ruined landscaping, wasted gardening hours, and over twenty Pokémon who will be grounded for the rest of their natural lives.

[Anyone still listening can practically hear said Pokémon whimper; Cecil certainly sounds angry enough to warrant it.

...But suddenly, all that fury disappears, leaving behind a paladin who sounds almost normal. Almost.]

That was our Public Service Announcement for the day. Do be careful while training, everyone, and remember that even the weakest attack can cause extensive damage to your surroundings.

[His team won't forget that in a hurry.]
paladinlost: (soft)
[The video starts with stones. Stones upon stones, stones that form floors and low walls until they give way to the sky. Someway, somehow, the Pokégear has found its way to the top of a tower.

The image turns east, towards taller walls and taller towers, before dipping to show a dark grey yard. A castle, it seems. One so solid it could withstand any army, with strong oak doors to match. As the video keeps moving more walls and outdoor passageways come into view, decorated with lit torches and banners of red and gold. It pauses for a few moments at the castle gate, left open to show the surrounding waterways and a few brave and curious locals who do not quite dare to enter.

Finally, the video moves towards the central courtyard, where dozens of Pokémon can be seen milling about curiously. Their looks of wonder as they explore are too far to be seen but still undeniably present, just like the smile of their trainer behind the camera.

What words could Cecil possibly use, to convey all the feelings that this slight slice of home awakens within himself?]

My Greninja has decided to play hide and seek in the castle. Help.

[...Baron's greatest public speaker, ladies and gentlemen.]
paladinlost: (^_^)
[Every day, many wasteful acts are committed across the world: nearly empty shampoo bottles are thrown away, ice cream bowls are not carefully scraped clean with a spoon, quality cold cuts are not placed between slices of freshly-baked bread, regained magic is not cast...

Cecil Harvey is not a wasteful person.

In fact, he's such an unwasteful person that he spends a large part of the weekend teleporting up to random confused souls, offering them ice cream and sandwiches aplenty, and teleporting away.

All of that with hair that looks like it came out of a shampoo commercial, of course.]
paladinlost: (drinking)
I know it is considered uncouth to make requests before one's birthday, but I am in need of information.

[Cecil takes a small sip from the glass of juice he's holding before continuing. He's been putting this off for far too long, and his own procrastination bothers him, but that's no reason to look anything less than composed.]

Firstly, I wish to know where I could catch - not buy - any species with the ability Damp. Species recommendations and tales of personal experience with the ability would also be appreciated.

[He sets the glass down, taps it absentmindedly with his right hand. He should have done this months ago, truly.]

Secondly, I am also interested in catching species such as Goldeen, Finneon and Roselia. For those, purchasing or trading for an egg is also an option, if you can offer particularly interesting egg moves. The price is no issue, and neither is acquiring an egg from any of my own Pokémon in return.

[He'll use Gogo, if he has to. Not that he'll publicly admit that.]

Lastly, I would be most thankful if someone was willing to share a recipe for coffee cake... or willing to taste my first few attempt.s I intend to do some baking this week, and I'd rather not see it go to waste. Thank you.

[Asking about Damp species: done. Inquiring about potential future team members: done. Covertly inviting people to visit him for his birthday: done. With any luck, this'll be a productive evening.]
paladinlost: (side glance)
...After many hours of pondering, I have come to the conclusion that my Pokémon wish to express their displeasure at being excluded from the New Year's festivities.

[He likely got that impression from the large pile of eggs that be seen behind him. The structure looks horrifyingly unstable, and the young shiny Vulpix trying to use it as her playground does not help.]

But they've generously done so in a manner that benefits you all. The eggs cost P1000 each, barring the Caterpies and Magikarps which are half that price. All are likely to hatch knowing at least one or two additional attacks, as Gogo's efforts to court Firaga have left it too busy to participate. I offer swift deliveries, and I can add a handmade egg pillow to any order if you request it. Please do not hesitate to buy as many eggs as you can hold.

[No, seriously, don't hesitate at all.]
paladinlost: (soft)
Would someone in the vicinity of Celadon kindly help us? This child wishes to face the new year as a grown Pokémon, and a temporary trade is necessary for that.

[The child in question being the Phantump snoozing on Cecil's lap when the video starts, a small smile on its face. Cecil himself is mostly out of view, with only a part of his torso and his hands petting the sleeping tree displayed.]

I would also like to invite anyone who wishes to accelerate their egg's hatching to visit my home. Between my Volcarona and my Chandelure, we can cut the necessary time by half, at the very least. And it's never too early for playdates.

[The Phantump chooses that moment to stir, earning a gentle unseen smile from Cecil as he turns the Pokégear off.]
paladinlost: (side glance)
[One tiny and sad advantage to having gone through this whole circus eight times is that at some point, nothing can surprise you anymore. Not even waking up on a park bench in Goldenrod with a Goldeen in your arms, a Magikarp tangled in your hair and a Finneon almost kissing you.

...Okay, so maybe that particular situation does surprise Cecil a little. Juste a little.

But certainly not enough to stop him from taking care of his weekly grocery shopping at the Department Store. Even if he's still wearing his pyjamas, his hair is messy, his make-up is nowhere to be seen and he has three fish in his shopping basket. He doesn't care about such silly details.

He does, however, care enough to greet the poor confused or not-so-confused people that surround him. The local biannual madness is no reason to be rude, after all.]
paladinlost: (hearts)
[This very early morning, Cecil looks positively giddy. Alarmingly giddy, even.]

Look at these beauties! At their craftmanship! At their ornamentation!

[The beauties in question are probably meant to be the pile of Honedges that Cecil is practically shoving at the camera. Seriously, look at them.]

I'd long hoped to find proper weapons in this world someday, but I'd never imagined they'd be sentient! Or so easy to please, for that matter.

[Every single one of them looks oiled and polished already, and that is most certainly a very large and nearly empty box of chocolate on the bench behind them. Never seen a dozen happy swords being spoiled to death before? Well, now you have!]

But I suppose not everyone is lucky enough to see these lovelies for themselves. I can help with that, but if you wish to adopt one, do say so quickly. Otherwise, I might decide to keep them all for myself.

[The idea tempts him. Oh, how it tempts him.]

I'll have to teach any potential adopter proper weapon maintenance first, of course, but I've no doubt everyone here can learn quickly. It's simple, once you know the steps and have practiced a few times! First, you must-

[And that's when one of the ghost blades decides to take pity on the rest of the network, by using its tassel to turn the Pokégear off.]
paladinlost: (soft)
[The view: the ceiling of the most enpensive restaurant in Celadon. The background noise: dozens of customers enjoying their meals, and Cecil tapping his fingers on a wooden table.]

When I first awoke in New Bark Town, four years ago, I was... unwell. This whole world's very existence confused me, and so did my presence in it. The relatively weak and harmless-looking monsters were also a shock. Had it not been for Rosie's sweetness, I surely would have attempted to fight her. You could say that day was very unpleasant, though still far from the worse I've had.

[The background noise: a liquid hitting glass. The view: a quick flash of a wine bottle in a corner.]

And yet... when I finally managed to use the Pokégear, I was contacted by friends I'd not seen in seventeen years. Friends I'd not remembered in seventeen years, and that I would not have expected to ever see again even if I'd kept those memories. I also met kind people, good people, who made my first few weeks here much easier than they would otherwise have been. All have been gone for years, now, but I still find myself thinking of them fondly. Therefore... you could say that day was a good day, too.

[The action, unseen and barely heard: Cecil making a silent toast to all those people, and downing that glass before setting it back on the table.]

...Well! Now that I've shared my first day experience, it's only fitting that you do the same. Surely you all have interesting stories to share.
paladinlost: (happy)
Would you all mind telling me what is your favorite technical machine, and why you favor it? I swear I'll not use that information against you should we ever meet in battle.

[Using it for future Christmas present ideas is completely fair game, though.]

I'll be happy to offer TM recommendations in return, of course. Goodness knows I've tried plenty.

[Today is a day for both questions and understatements, it seems.]


paladinlost: (Default)
Cecil Harvey

September 2017

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